Abraham Lincoln’s Depression — How It Helped Me Battle My Own
President Abraham Lincoln is one of history’s most influential characters. He fought to keep the Union preserved, abolished one of the United State’s most evil practices, and all the while he was suffering from intense “melancholy”.
What has always struck me as the most powerful aspect of Lincoln’s story was that while he was leading a fractured nation in the midsts of fighting its’ bloodiest war he himself was fighting a war against severe internal depression.
There is a wonderful article by Joshua Wolf Shenk in The Atlantic that gives you a brief idea of what Lincoln dealt with. Then in addition to that article, Shenk wrote an absolutely amazing book titled, “Lincoln’s Melancholy- How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness” that if you want to stop reading this and start reading that I 100% understand.
So often we see our great leaders on the world stage, dealing with problems and challenges so immeasurably larger than our own, and yet they almost always seem resolute, unwavering, and unflinching in their resolve. We as a society expect strength and courage in our leaders to do the right thing morally, ethically, and legally and to keep us safe from those who would do us harm. Even an ounce of weakness in today’s political climate is attacked with fervent vitriol by those on the opposition and within the media. The thought of a President/Prime Minister/Chancellor/etc. dealing with deep, internal depression to most would be grounds for removal from office.
I can confidently state that if Abraham Lincoln can lead the United States through the bloodiest war in American history while suffering from severe depression that depression alone is not grounds for dismissal. In fact, as Shenk argues in his writings and as I argue here, the fact that a person struggles with depression has the potential to create great internal strength. In some cases, the internal strength necessary to bring a country from a violent civil war to the path towards reconciliation.
My depression has been a consistent challenge for most of my life. According to my parents, I was a rather easy-going child. I would sit wherever I was, read books, watch history documentaries, play “army” by myself, use my imagination and my favorite action figures to tell wonderful stories in my head… but I remember almost always being sad.
As I grew older and entered my teenage years as the social interaction increased as did the severity of my depression. I had a wonderful group of friends growing up and when I was with them all was well. But when I wasn’t the darkness crept in and the depression hit. That pattern continued into my adult life and it wasn’t until several years ago did I realize that I needed help of some kind. I found the help in the form of my wife’s comfort, the studying of history, and the power of my own imagination as well as a passion for my career.
Do I still struggle every now and then with depression? Absolutely.
But as you’ll read below through studying the journey of President Lincoln I’ve been able to grow through my depression and make myself stronger.
“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” — Abraham Lincoln
Studying Lincoln’s life it becomes clear that he always suffered from depression. There are many stories of Lincoln’s preference for solitude and his own thoughts rather than the company of those around him. He admitted to one of his own mentors that he thought of ending his life often. Even more saddening is that there are many instances of a young adult Lincoln leaving his home to wander throughout the woods late in the evening with his firearm.
The first lesson I learned from my observations of Lincoln’s personal life is that while he was struggling with intense emotional pain due to the loss of loved ones he kept moving forward. This was a man who is quoted as stating that he would “never carry a knife in his pocket” out of fear of taking his own life and yet he somehow would ascend to the Presidency of the United States?
This put things into perspective for me — while life may not always be moving in a positive direction as quickly as preferred… just keep moving forward one way or another.
“Life is hard but so very beautiful” — Abraham Lincoln
“You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.” — Abraham Lincoln
The above quote validated a lesson that I painfully learned several years back in my life. No one will do the work to improve my life better than myself. Now I have a wonderful family support system, my wife’s grandfather in particular is one of my personal heroes. But no matter how much support my grandfather throws at me, it will be up to me to do the actual growing.
This realization helped me with my depression. For some reason or another, I have always had bouts of depression regularly throughout my life. Sometimes it’s one day, sometimes it’s a week or a month even. However, as soon as I was with others, my wife, friends, pets, and so on I would become joyful and happy much as Lincoln was with his friends and family. But, in a very similar way as Lincoln as soon as I was alone, or for me when I began to feel the fear of being alone a near-crippling depression overtook me.
But by realizing that no one will do my growing for me, much as no one did Lincoln’s growing for him gave me strength. This concept still gives me the strength to soldier on to this day. If he could do what he did and grow through the depression I became hopeful about my chances.
“That some achieve great success, is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.” — Abraham Lincoln
“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” — Abraham Lincoln
One day at a time, that’s life. The sound logic and reasoning behind the concept of making your bed every morning is to ensure that you always achieve something each and every day. This idea for me is paired with another of Lincoln’s lessons — be honest with admitting your own faults and struggles.
Today there is such a terrible stigma regarding mental health, specifically the seeking of help for mental health. Whether it’s a fear of appearing weak, of having your career impacted, of fear of acknowledging the pain, or anything else there is undeniably a negative stigma attached to the concept. Lincoln was upfront and honest about his struggles, he admitted as such to his own partner at his law firm!
Why was Lincoln okay with admitting his deep, intensely personal struggles to his partner at work? I would argue it’s because he understood that there is no real difference between a mental health challenge and a physical one. The only distinction is that mental health challenges are not recognizable at first glance as say an amputated limb would be. But struggling with intense depression can be just as debilitating as an amputated limb, and in many cases much more so. Lincoln knew this, that’s why he acknowledged his challenges openly.
This taught me several lessons. (1) Take my life day by day and treat each day as an opportunity to grow through the challenges and better myself. (2) It doesn’t matter who I told about my depression I just needed to tell someone, anyone and once I crossed that bridge I could begin the process of healing.
Who did I tell? I mentioned her several times but I told my wife. She was not only the first person whom I was involved with that I confided this in but she was the first person period that I felt that comfortable within every aspect of my life. So I told my wife bluntly and honestly that I had always struggled with bouts of depression every now and then. That point, about two years ago is when I can definitely state my mental health began strengthening.
“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” — Abraham Lincoln
I was speaking with my wife while finishing up writing this post and she asked me, “How do you feel being so candid about your depression in such a public way?” I responded by telling her that if more people were open about their mental health challenges fewer people would be killing themselves.
If someone breaks a bone they go to the doctor, get a cast, get some medicine, and let their body go through the healing process naturally. They may need some physical therapy to relearn how to use whichever limb but eventually, nearly any physical trauma can be overcome with enough willpower. I would argue that the same overall process can and should be applied to mental health challenges. Identify the problem (the broken bone), seek assistance in some form openly (go to the doctor), receive treatment, and over time let your body and your mind strengthen through the challenges.
In his book that I mentioned above Joshua Shenk states;
“ONE OF THE REASONS that depression is so problematic — and deadly, leading to many of the forty thousand suicides in the United States each year — is that people are often loath to admit they are suffering, let alone explore it in detail.” — Joshua Wolf Shenk, Lincoln’s Melancholy: How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness
Admitting to someone, anyone, about your struggles is key. That lesson from Lincoln has stuck with me in more ways than just with my depression. For me, it was one of the most difficult things to do. Why? I felt as if my wife would think less of me, see me as weak, judge me as somehow worthless, and more. None of that materialized.
Seeking help for a mental health challenge is not a sign of weakness. Nor should anyone ever think less of you for seeking help. Would that person view you as worthless if you had to go to the doctor for a broken leg? The correct answer is no they wouldn’t and they shouldn’t for any mental health challenge.
Abraham Lincoln suffered from severe depression his entire life. He had bouts of depression so serious that on many occasions he contemplated ending his life. Yet somehow, this man who was too afraid to carry a pocketknife in his jacket became one of the greatest leaders in world history. That alone is one of the greatest lessons Abraham Lincoln taught me. If he can bring the United States back from the brink of collapse, lead the nation through its’ bloodiest war, and set the citizens on a path to a peaceful reconciliation… maybe I can get through my challenges as well.
Let me end with this final quote from President Abraham Lincoln,
“I’m a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn’t have the heart to let him down.” — Abraham Lincoln
Thank you for reading this article. If you are feeling depressed let me tell you that I believe in you. Life is anything but easy but I know for a fact that you can make it through whatever challenges are set before you. If you are feeling suicidal please seek help immediately and let them know what is going on. The world is much brighter with you in it. That is a promise. If you know someone who may be struggling reach out to them. The most effective way we as a society can combat suicide is by genuinely interacting with and caring for each other.
-Nathan Stafford
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (United States) — 800–273–8255
This article was heavily inspired by my own reading of Joshua Wolf Shenk's book and I cannot express enough my feeling that everyone should read it. I linked both of them at the beginning of the article for reference and deliberately put them at the beginning so they could not be missed.
